Funny Instagram Captions

1000+ funny Instagram captions. Download and share them with your friends & followers.

Lord, please bless those certain individuals with business so they can stop minding mine.
Chocolate makes your clothes shrink.
Imagine you know what you’re doing.
It’s okay to follow your heart but take your brain with you.
I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.
Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot revenge.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
I stay in shape by running from commitment.
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
I’m not lazy. I’m just on my energy saving mode.
I have so much to do that I’m going to bed.
Be a Fruit Loop in a world full of Cornflakes.
A book a day keeps reality away.