Funny Instagram Captions

1000+ funny Instagram captions. Download and share them with your friends & followers.

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Please cancel my subscription to your issues.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
If I send you ugly selfies, your friendship is real.
Coffee before talkie.
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
Some days, I amaze myself. Other days, I put the laundry in the oven.
If only Pizza was healthy.
The most excersise you get is running your mouth, jumping to conclusions, and pushing your luck.
Dear Santa, I can explain…
If you’re rich then I’m single.
Of course life is a bitch. If it was a slut, it would be easy.
You aren’t famous until my mother has heard of you.
It’s not you, it’s my horrible choice in men.