Funny Instagram Captions

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I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
If this weekend goes as planned, I will not include any actual plans.
That akward moment when you’re wearing Nikes and you can’t do it.
Life begins after coffee.
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
I’m great in bed. I can sleep for days.
I listen to bands that don’t even exist yet.
A book a day keeps reality away.
The “i” in team is hidden in the “A”-hole.
Disco doesn’t suck. You just can’t dance.
If you’re rich then I’m single.
I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled up with my thumb.
If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.