Funny Instagram Captions

1000+ funny Instagram captions. Download and share them with your friends & followers.

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Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot revenge.
The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.
Breathe in the good shit. Breathe out the bullshit.
The key to happiness is a shitty memory.
My house looks like I’m losing a game of Jumanji.
I’m not an early bird or a night owl. I’m some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.
I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.
Eat whatever you want & if someone lectures you, eat them too!
Chocolate makes your clothes shrink.
When things go wrong, don’t go with them.
I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.
Stop posting your problems on Facebook. Go to a bar like everyone else.