Funny Instagram Captions

1000+ funny Instagram captions. Download and share them with your friends & followers.

If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.
I need a six month vacation, twice a year.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
It’s not you, it’s my horrible choice in men.
I’m not an early bird or a night owl. I’m some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.
It’s okay to follow your heart but take your brain with you.
I am presently experiencing life at several WTF’s per hour.
I never finish anyth
Sweat like a pig to look like a fox.
Coffee before talkie.
My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.
Drinkin’ Rum before 10am makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.