150+ Funny Instagram Captions To Make You LOL

Funny Instagram Captions

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  • All you need is lol.
  • Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
  • If you’re a pizza, Amazon or Ryan Gosling – I’m home.
  • I listen to bands that don’t even exist yet.
  • If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.
  • Bacteria may be the only culture some people have.
  • Breathe in the good shit. Breathe out the bullshit.
  • May the best days of your last year be the worst days of your new year.
  • If nothing goes right, go left!
  • Don’t go Brexit my heart!
  • Getting into a relationship may seem like a good idea, but so was getting on the Titanic and see what happened there.
  • The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.
  • If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.
  • Respect your parents! They passed school without Google.
  • I’m not lazy. I’m just on my energy saving mode.
  • Eat whatever you want & if someone lectures you, eat them too!
  • To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.
  • I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.
  • After Tuesday, even the calendar goes WTF.
  • If the love doesn’t feel like 90s R&B, I don’t want it.
  • Deja Poo – the overwhelming feeling that you’ve heard that shit before.
  • In a world full of Kardashians, be an Audrey!
  • Be strong’ – I whispered to my WiFi signal.
  • If I had a British accent, I’d never shut up.
  • Relationship status: Sleeping in my bed diagonally.
  • Spread love as thick as you would Nutella.
  • The word ‘stressed’ spelled backwards is ‘desserts’.
  • I need a six month vacation, twice a year.
  • I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
  • Nothing is really lost until your Mom can’t find it.
  • You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent.
  • Dear Monday, my Mama don’t like you and she likes everyone.
  • Nothing makes a person more productive than leaving it until the last minute.
  • I never finish anyth

 

Funny Instagram Captions

More Funny Instagram Captions

  • My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks.
  • May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.
  • Cleaning with kids in the house is liking brushing your teeth with Nutella.
  • Drinkin’ Rum before 10am makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic.
  • The “i” in team is hidden in the “A”-hole.
  • My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.
  • My house looks like I’m losing a game of Jumanji.
  • Some people age like wine. Others like milk.
  • Some people aren’t really all they post to be.
  • My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.
  • I’m sorry for the things I said when it was winter.
  • A book commits suicide every time you watch a reality show.
  • I got mood poisoning. Must have been something I hate.
  • If every day is a gift then today was socks.
  • I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
  • In a relationship, one person is always right and the other person is a male.
  • The early bird can go fuck off.
  • I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
  • Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
  • 90% of my Google search history is just words I wasn’t sure how to spell.
  • Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
  • My boss told me to have a good day – so I went home.
  • The only clubs I’m into are sandwiches.
  • Therapy is expensive. Pupping bubble wrap is not.
  • Finished yoga. Didn’t fart once.
  • My head says gym, but my heart says Tacos.
  • If this weekend goes as planned, I will not include any actual plans.
  • Some days, I amaze myself. Other days, I put the laundry in the oven.
  • I am presently experiencing life at several WTF’s per hour.
  • Champagne is always a good idea.
  • I wish everything was as easy as getting fat.
  • The key to happiness is a shitty memory.
  • I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.
  • Coffee saves lives.
  • Coffee before talkie.

 

Funny Instagram Captions

Cleverly Funny Instagram Captions

  • My mind says Victoria Secret model, but my heart says chocolate, pizza, fun.
  • I’m not an early bird or a night owl. I’m some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.
  • My handwriting is so messy that sometimes I think I’m schiziphrenic.
  • I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
  • Life is short. Buy the dress.
  • The diet I followed didn’t follow back, so I unfollowed it.
  • Stop posting your problems on Facebook. Go to a bar like everyone else.
  • Being an adult is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.
  • You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a pizza.
  • Friday is my second favorite ‘F’ word. My first is food.
  • Sending dick pics is for amateurs. Real men disappoint in real life.
  • I’m great in bed. I can sleep for days.
  • Humble, with just a hint of Kanye.
  • The last time I was someone’s type, I was donating blood.
  • How do I take my coffee? Seriously. Very, very seriously.
  • If spending all day in my pajamas is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
  • Kill them with kindness.
  • Row row row your boat gently the fuck away from me.
  • If I send you ugly selfies, your friendship is real.
  • If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel.
  • I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled up with my thumb.
  • Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
  • You’re weird. I like that.
  • If only Pizza was healthy.
  • Never mess with people who have bad pictures of you.
  • Lord, please bless those certain individuals with business so they can stop minding mine.
  • The art of shutting the fuck up and when not to. Few master it.
  • Keep your head high and your middle finger higher.
  • I just saved 100% on stress by switching to not giving a fuck.
  • I hope karma slaps you in the face before I do.
  • I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.
  • Be a Fruit Loop in a world full of Cornflakes.
  • I love Fridays like Kanye loves Kanye.
  • Disco doesn’t suck. You just can’t dance.
  • Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
  • Imagine you know what you’re doing.
  • Come on, baby, fight my liar!
  • I need vitamin sea.
  • You’re so ugly, even Hello Kitty says Goodbye.
  • Life begins after coffee.
  • Hakuna the fucking Matata
  • All you need is love, or a dog.
  • Liberte, Egalite, Beyonce
  • I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
  • Lorem ipsum dolor sit happens.
  • First coffee and then the world.

 

Funny Instagram Captions

Hilariously Funny Instagram Captions

  • Don’t worry, be Yonce
  • All you need is sleep.
  • Form follows deadline.
  • It’s not you, it’s Gin Tonic.
  • If you’re rich then I’m single.
  • Skinny people are easier to kidnap.
  • Working from nine to wine.
  • Surely not EVERYBODY was Kung Fu fighting.
  • Coffee is always a good idea.
  • Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police.
  • That akward moment when you’re wearing Nikes and you can’t do it.
  • Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened.
  • God’s last name is not dammit.
  • A book a day keeps reality away.
  • Please cancel my subscription to your issues.
  • I’ll never be old enough to know better.
  • The more laundry I do, the less crazy nudists seem.
  • Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did. Except you.
  • All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
  • I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
  • The most excersise you get is running your mouth, jumping to conclusions, and pushing your luck.
  • The ‘earth’ without ‘art’ is just ‘eh.’
  • Always be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
  • A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
  • It’s not you, it’s my horrible choice in men.
  • Sarcasm is the bodies natural defense against stupid.
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  • When things go wrong, don’t go with them.
  • A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
  • It’s okay to follow your heart but take your brain with you.
  • Sweat like a pig to look like a fox.
  • I solemnly swear that i am up to no good.
  • You aren’t famous until my mother has heard of you.
  • Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
  • Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot revenge.
  • Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.
  • Chocolate makes your clothes shrink.
  • Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
  • We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.
  • Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is.

 

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